Monday, May 6, 2013

Finally, some stupid week I can get on board with

So, apparently today starts the first annual International Clitoris Awareness Week.  What a slap to the face for all those burly manly men who went "You can have this one but all your rest of the year are belong to us" when discussing the International Women's Day, or as I call it "The International Women Have No Sense Of Humour and Get Butthurt Over Nothing Day". Now women have at least 8 days, one for all the bitches, one for mom's and a whole week for clits. I'm sure there's more, but I'm too lazy to do my research. Be it how it may, looks like the prettier sex is slowly but surely taking over the whole year :)

This week also puts some of the lesser-minded individuals of my gender in quite the pickle, as they don't have clits, but for some reason they think they do; Just because you have a girlfriend or a wife or something in between doesn't mean you have the ownership of the clit, oh no. Sure, the female probably carries your sad little excuse of balls in her purse right between her lipstick and her tampon, but you, my dimwitted little friend, have no claim for the ownership of the clit. You're merely leasing it, with no option to buy. This is because women cannot be repressed or objectified or sexualised, as we all we know from the previous incidents.  The Sisterhood of Emasculation And The Righteous Castration Of All Things Penis will rip out your testies and feed them to a rabid poodle with a pink collar.

I'd like to bash this clitfest as well, but I have never seen a clitoris do anything dumb, which is more than I can say about a lot of women. Besides, I can find the damn thing without a map and a flashlight, which gives me a huge advantage over most of the manly men of my gender, so I can't really be too bitter for the clitter. So, let us celebrate this joyous week! :) And if your clit is feeling sad and lonely, you know who to call, because:


(Disclaimer: Anything and everything above may or may not be a joke, so don't get your ovaries all worked up over it. I know FGM and all that jazz is bad. Doesn't mean I can't joke about it fuckers.)

16 comments:

  1. The offensive-man is back :')

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  2. Welcome back offensive-man! We've missed you!! :)

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  3. [Oh fuck no! Not that infamous thread again! So many comments I hadn't seen are giving me the creeps LOL]

    Btw, the last time The Sisterhood of Emasculation And The Righteous Castration Of All Things Penis did that, the poor little poodle died. I weep for the doggie, it was a slow, painful death :'(

    Also, girls, if your clit is feeling sad and lonely, I can paste a link of certain website that includes certain kinds of stories (in English, because some of us really need to practice our reading skills). Just go to my blog (I'm two clicks away, don't be lazy xD) and I'll give it to you ;)

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    1. No-offence, but if my clit is sad and lonely, I definitely preffer to call him ;)

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    2. Definitely. Definitely would prefer to call him. Although really, I'd probably end up just on my computer playing video games forgetting my clit is sad and lonely and end up not needing to call him in the end. But still, would take that instead. Internet links are dangerous things 0.0

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    3. Dangerous? yes, especially for minors, right Layra?

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    4. I wouldn't know. I guess I'd say dangerous for everyone really. Mainly I'd say not minors, but the innocent. Innocent people are either a) really scarred and frightened after clicking the wrong internet link or b) confused and go around asking people to explain it to them and make a royal fool out of themselves.

      Somehow I sense something in your sentence was directed at me in some way but that might just be me imagining things. Even if it was ...don't givva flyin' fuck.

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    5. Aaaaannnndddd that was me trying to be funny and a little naughty... Thank you so much, now I feel ashamed and a little bit like this:

      http://24.media.tumblr.com/a56592b041dd43d7eea3bff3170fd7cd/tumblr_mkwh6p8jlN1rm7pxno1_400.gif

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    6. Oh, was it? Oops, my bad, didn't mean to spoil the fun. I shall be more careful next time. BTW, nice gif. Kitties!! >.<

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  4. Again.
    Be as you like, joke or not, but I don't get why there must always be so much interest by your side for this kind of (useless and silly) things. I mean, why do you really care for those stupid celebrations? Why do you make posts about it? Even when you're certain you'd have to rebash back equally useless and stupid comments? Only wandering why.
    I'm not suggesting I'd rather go for indifference as a pov, but you'll admit that this kind of (always appriciated) subtle irony, if driven so far, could become a double-edged sharped razor. (sorry for the uncorrect speaking, if this' the case, but it's past midnight and I'm not feeling so good).

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  5. I like silly things, and I LOOOOOOVE poking at the hornets nest :) I usually post about things I find interesting, funny, irritating or whatnot. Sometimes all of those at once. I also enjoy ripping stupid things and stupid people to shreds, verbally that is. And of course, making fun of anything and everything.

    Also, most of the time my irony and sarcasm are far from subtle, but I guess I'm more of the "If you've got it, flaunt it" kind of guy anyway :)

    But in short the answer would be "Because I can" :)

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    1. Ok "poking at the hornets nest", got it. ;) Making fun, I agree, is the only thing that sometimes keeps me goin. Totally worth the try in every occasion you may go for it.
      I'm defenetly off - to bed. Good night!

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  6. Is that pathetic shit storm gonna start again? I sure hope not, but it might be an empty wish that the idiots had learned to stay outta the kitchen when they can't obviously take the heat...

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    1. I don't think so, I would like to think people have learned their lesson by now. Besides, I expressed being pro-clitoris on the post, so maybe that'll keep the most feministic of morons in check for the time being :)

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    2. "I expressed being pro-clitoris on the post"

      Oh my... just can't stop laughing now.

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    3. Apparently I'm the only one who thinks this week is good for nothing and just plain... awkward etc.

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