So, apparently today starts the first annual International Clitoris Awareness Week. What a slap to the face for all those burly manly men who went "You can have this one but all your rest of the year are belong to us" when discussing the International Women's Day, or as I call it "The International Women Have No Sense Of Humour and Get Butthurt Over Nothing Day". Now women have at least 8 days, one for all the bitches, one for mom's and a whole week for clits. I'm sure there's more, but I'm too lazy to do my research. Be it how it may, looks like the prettier sex is slowly but surely taking over the whole year :)
This week also puts some of the lesser-minded individuals of my gender in quite the pickle, as they don't have clits, but for some reason they think they do; Just because you have a girlfriend or a wife or something in between doesn't mean you have the ownership of the clit, oh no. Sure, the female probably carries your sad little excuse of balls in her purse right between her lipstick and her tampon, but you, my dimwitted little friend, have no claim for the ownership of the clit. You're merely leasing it, with no option to buy. This is because women cannot be repressed or objectified or sexualised, as we all we know from the previous incidents. The Sisterhood of Emasculation And The Righteous Castration Of All Things Penis will rip out your testies and feed them to a rabid poodle with a pink collar.
I'd like to bash this clitfest as well, but I have never seen a clitoris do anything dumb, which is more than I can say about a lot of women. Besides, I can find the damn thing without a map and a flashlight, which gives me a huge advantage over most of the manly men of my gender, so I can't really be too bitter for the clitter. So, let us celebrate this joyous week! :) And if your clit is feeling sad and lonely, you know who to call, because:
(Disclaimer: Anything and everything above may or may not be a joke, so don't get your ovaries all worked up over it. I know FGM and all that jazz is bad. Doesn't mean I can't joke about it fuckers.)